rinnywee

It's only 9am, but this is what awaited me when I arrived at work this morning. The weekend staff had covered my desk and it's contents (and the desks of the 2 other managers at my level) in tinfoil.



It's a good thing I'm in a pretty decent mood this morning. I'm pre-caffeinated, so there was a 50/50 chance I'd fly off the handle. Still, it's pretty damn cute.

Oh wow, I can't stop laughing at this one.

( I think I'm getting the fear )

A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The women notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" Bond explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?" "Well, it says you're not wearing any knickers..." The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!" Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast..."

Da Vinci Code poster upsets Roman church



Rome April 25, 2006
A giant advertisement of the The Da Vinci Code movie hangs on the facade of the Rome's San Pantaleo church.

Religious authorities in Rome have demanded the withdrawal of a huge ad for the forthcoming movie The Da Vinci Code which has been erected across the facade of a state-owned church undergoing restoration.

Marco Frisina, head of liturgical affairs for the Rome diocese, called the publicity for the movie which has upset the Vatican a "provocation", adding that "places of worship must be respected".

The film is based on the best-seller by Dan Brown that postulates that the Church, spearheaded by its militant Opus Dei organisation, is covering up a union between Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalen which produced offspring.

The church of San Pantaleo, in the heart of Rome, belongs to the interior ministry.

The practice of covering up the scaffolding on historic buildings being renovated with massive commercial advertisements regularly sparks protests.

"We have asked for it to be taken down and we are waiting," parish priest Adolfo Garcia Duran told the Ansa news agency, adding the agreement of the local clergy should have been sought.

The Da Vinci Code is to be launched at the Cannes film festival next month.

Man breaks leg while kicking spider
January 12, 2006 - 2:24PM
From The Age

A 19-year-old broke his leg in two places while kicking at a spider in the NSW Southern Highlands.

NRMA CareFlight said the teenager was flown to Liverpool Hospital in a stable condition from a property 25km west of Mittagong after the incident involving a large huntsman spider before 1pm (AEDT) on Thursday.

The force of the man's kick at the spider broke his right leg in two places and also killed the spider.

The Huntsman is listed by the Australian Museum as being a relatively harmless species, although the Badge Huntsman can cause pain, headache, vomiting and an irregular pulse.

Still sick. Took the day off work. I slept until around 13.30 and was only then woken by my neighbour drilling into the wall right next to my head. Sadly, this is something I could not just ignore, so I grudgingly pulled myself out of bed and stumble off to the shower in an effort to try and wake up. I am not entirely sure this has worked.

I'm currently debating whether or not to venture outside to go to the pharmacy and pick up some medicine, and to the store to pick up some tea. Hmm, I've just sent a mail to a colleague asking him what it would take for him to bring me some tea after work. Knowing this guy, he'll probably say something like "fellatio", but unless he wants a dead woman on his hands, he's not going to ask someone who can't breathe through their nose to do this.

Bloody hell
According to the INED (Institut National d'Etudes Demographiques), and based on UN numbers, today, 19th December 2005, there are 6.5 billion people on this planet. Apparently the margin of error is only a couple of percent, so the 6.5 billion could have been reached 2 years ago, or perhaps in 2 years. In 1999, the UN chose a Bosnian baby as the 6 billionth inhabitant of this planet, as a symbol of peace. Every 24 hours, the world's population increases by 210,000. We should hit the 7 billion mark in around 2012 or 2013.

Yearly round-up
I've been giggling away at The Chaser Odyssey, as printed in The Age. The Chaser is pretty much the Aussie version of The Onion.

Some choice quotes:

2005

It has been a year of valuable life lessons: don't make Russell Crowe angry, don't smuggle drugs into South-East Asia and don't make a man who keeps a diary the leader of your political party. We saw what happens when you make the right life choices (marrying a Danish prince, being an arch-conservative right-hand man to an ageing Pope), and we saw what happens when you make the wrong life choices (Big Brother, Australian Princess, Big Brother Up Late, Aussie Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, Big Brother: Friday Night Live, Big Brother Uncut, etc.)

Tsunami

As the New Year arrived, the world was still struggling to cope with the devastation of the Boxing Day tsunami. The disaster killed hundreds of thousands in Indonesia, Thailand and
Sri Lanka, but more importantly a handful of Australians.

The Pope

In May, Pope John Paul II lost his protracted struggle to remain alive until he finished reading The Da Vinci Code. His death came as an enormous shock to Catholics, who thought he had died some time in 1993.
The new Pope, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, chose the name Pope Benedict XVI after having had trouble obtaining Hotmail addresses for Pope Benedicts I to XV.

Charles and Camilla

After years searching for a wife who James Hewitt wouldn't want to have an affair with, Prince Charles finally married Camilla Parker-Bowles in April. Charles and Camilla have been in love for decades but delayed their wedding until 2005, so no one would have to worry about them breeding.
Finally, the day concluded in the same way Charles' first wedding did, with him spending the night with Camilla.

The Ashes

The loss of the Ashes was devastating to Australians still reeling from England winning the Rugby World Cup in 2003. But, as Australians always say when they lose, cricket was the winner in the Ashes of 2005. So the Poms should stop gloating.
Besides, losing has been good for Australia. After all those years of winning too easily, Australians can now return to the great Aussie tradition of being sore losers.

Princess Mary

Princess Mary made her one useful contribution to her adopted nation of Denmark this year, with the birth of a male heir to the throne. The Danish people initially reacted with enormous excitement but, after the first week had passed, were already putting pressure on the new prince to settle down and begin having children. The news drew a crowd of Australian women in low-cut dresses to the maternity ward in the hope of seducing Europe's newest royal heir.

I confess, during last night's screening of Harry Potter IV, during one of the scenes with a close up of an owl, I did yell out "O RLY".

Learn Pi!

Trust me, it's worth it.