rinnywee

Yeah, my family are fine, thanks to everyone for the messages and emails. My family live in the suburbs of Melbourne and are quite a ways away from where the fires are happening.

It's a terrible tragedy, terribly distressing and my heart and thoughts go out to everyone back home, particularly the emergency services workers. They're just amazing.

So it seems that Melbourne City Council have voted to examine the cost and location for a riverside urban beach along the banks of the Yarra River in Melbourne's CBD. The idea has originated from the Paris Plage (FR : EN) idea which has been running in the French capital since 2002.

What is the point?

Paris Plage is a success because of Paris' location - around 2 hours inland from the nearest beach. There are perfectly good beaches within 20 minutes of Melbourne's city centre. The amount of money that would be spent on installing such a gimmick could be better spent on improving the quality of Melbourne's existing beaches, and to improve the facilities so as to entice more people to go there.

Speaking before the committee meeting, Cr Snedden said the beach would attract Melbourne families who could not afford to take holidays, or those who simply wanted to go to a local beach, without having to travel across town.

"To have an urban beach right on your back door would be very exciting," she said. "It would be for me - I'd be going there every day."

It still requires people travelling INTO the centre of Melbourne, which can take over an hour on public transport to then sit on a fake beach, next to a river they cannot swim in, when, if they travel just a teeny bit more, they can be lazing on a beach and swimming in Port Philip Bay.

Cr Fraser Brindley argued against the move, saying it would be a waste of money "trying to put nature where nature didn't put itself".

"My antiquated, conservative point of view is that if you want to go to the beach, you go to the beach; if you want to go to the forest, you go to the forest; if you want to walk beside the river, you walk beside the river," he said.

This antiquated, non-conservative agrees.

Australia in African refugee ban

A freeze on the settlement of refugees from Africa - including those from Sudan's Darfur region - has been announced by the Australian government.

Immigration Minister Kevin Andrews said the refugees had trouble integrating, and other parts of the world such as Iraq and Burma were greater priorities.

The freeze will last until mid-2008, and there are no guarantees that Africans will be admitted after then.

Critics say it is a pre-election pitch to immigration-wary voters.

Mr Andrews said refugees from Sudan and conflict-torn Darfur were having problems integrating into Australian communities, and that trouble spots closer to home should take priority.

To that end, Africans are being replaced in the humanitarian refugee programme by people fleeing Iraq and Burma.

'Xenophobic' jibe

Australia has accepted or is processing about 3,900 Africans this year - 30% of its total refugee intake.

Just two years ago they made up 70% of the total.

Critics have accused the government of a pre-election move to appeal to xenophobic voters, and they have also said it is absolutely wrong to argue that Africans are failing to integrate.

One community leader said they were making an immense contribution to the economy by taking jobs which many Australians simply did not want to do.

Certainly, there is a nativistic streak in parts of the Australian electorate.

In previous campaigns the Prime Minister John Howard government has benefited from concerns over immigration - especially in regional seats.

Only last year the town of Tamworth in New South Wales voted against hosting a trial refugee resettlement programme after the Sudanese were branded as criminals by the local mayor.

So fierce was the condemnation that the council was forced to reverse that decision.

I am, of course, being sarcastic.



Howard calls for HIV migrant ban.

No no no no no no. Steve Irwin is supposed to be invincible! If he can die, what fucking chance do the rest of us have?

I won't waste much time on this "mini-Olympics" (Wikipedia entry for Commonwealth Games, but I do have one question.

Why isn't the Birdman Rally a Commonwealth (and Olympic, come to think of it) event?

Some countries take it far too seriously, that's just not on. The Birdman Rally is all about a drunk bloke, covered in feathers, jumping of the Princes Street Bridge, into the Yarra.

So I wandered on over to Getty Images to see if I could find some Birdman Rally pics, but to no avail. I did however find some snaps from the Commonwealth Games.


"... So I grabbed his head and gave it a squeeze and said "Johnny Howard, if you steal my limelight with Queen Liz I am gonna pop you're fucked up noggin like a pimple."


SLOUCHER!


Haha, Thorpey. Tatty beach trousers, t-shirt and non-matching jacket... PLUS an unshaved face for meeting the Queen. I love him.


Oh just FUCK OFF with that. What in God's name of Hell is that monstrosity?

CAPTION CONTEST:



What could Phil "The Greek" Windsor possibly be saying to this fellow? Be imaginative, and keep in mind Phil's penchant for all that is politically incorrect.

I am so proud of my Prime Minister. Talk-back radio often causes politicians to come out with some rubbish, but John Howard's comments about Muslim women in Australia choosing to wear the burqa really take the cake. "I don't mind the headscarf, but it's really the whole outfit," he said. "I think most Australians would find it confronting." Yeah well, you know what Johnny, I find older men wearing socks and sandals pretty confronting and offensive, can we please do something about that?

If a woman chooses to wear the burqa, or chooses to walk around in a bra and short shorts, then who has the right to stop her? Next he'll be suggesting that Catholic nuns not wear their habits in public for fear of being confronting. Oh no, wait, of course that won't be a problem. Christian religious symbolism and clothing is fiiiiiiiiiiiine, but if you're from a "brown" country then you'll have problems.

My bad.

Still sick. Took the day off work. I slept until around 13.30 and was only then woken by my neighbour drilling into the wall right next to my head. Sadly, this is something I could not just ignore, so I grudgingly pulled myself out of bed and stumble off to the shower in an effort to try and wake up. I am not entirely sure this has worked.

I'm currently debating whether or not to venture outside to go to the pharmacy and pick up some medicine, and to the store to pick up some tea. Hmm, I've just sent a mail to a colleague asking him what it would take for him to bring me some tea after work. Knowing this guy, he'll probably say something like "fellatio", but unless he wants a dead woman on his hands, he's not going to ask someone who can't breathe through their nose to do this.

Bloody hell
According to the INED (Institut National d'Etudes Demographiques), and based on UN numbers, today, 19th December 2005, there are 6.5 billion people on this planet. Apparently the margin of error is only a couple of percent, so the 6.5 billion could have been reached 2 years ago, or perhaps in 2 years. In 1999, the UN chose a Bosnian baby as the 6 billionth inhabitant of this planet, as a symbol of peace. Every 24 hours, the world's population increases by 210,000. We should hit the 7 billion mark in around 2012 or 2013.

Yearly round-up
I've been giggling away at The Chaser Odyssey, as printed in The Age. The Chaser is pretty much the Aussie version of The Onion.

Some choice quotes:

2005

It has been a year of valuable life lessons: don't make Russell Crowe angry, don't smuggle drugs into South-East Asia and don't make a man who keeps a diary the leader of your political party. We saw what happens when you make the right life choices (marrying a Danish prince, being an arch-conservative right-hand man to an ageing Pope), and we saw what happens when you make the wrong life choices (Big Brother, Australian Princess, Big Brother Up Late, Aussie Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, Big Brother: Friday Night Live, Big Brother Uncut, etc.)

Tsunami

As the New Year arrived, the world was still struggling to cope with the devastation of the Boxing Day tsunami. The disaster killed hundreds of thousands in Indonesia, Thailand and
Sri Lanka, but more importantly a handful of Australians.

The Pope

In May, Pope John Paul II lost his protracted struggle to remain alive until he finished reading The Da Vinci Code. His death came as an enormous shock to Catholics, who thought he had died some time in 1993.
The new Pope, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, chose the name Pope Benedict XVI after having had trouble obtaining Hotmail addresses for Pope Benedicts I to XV.

Charles and Camilla

After years searching for a wife who James Hewitt wouldn't want to have an affair with, Prince Charles finally married Camilla Parker-Bowles in April. Charles and Camilla have been in love for decades but delayed their wedding until 2005, so no one would have to worry about them breeding.
Finally, the day concluded in the same way Charles' first wedding did, with him spending the night with Camilla.

The Ashes

The loss of the Ashes was devastating to Australians still reeling from England winning the Rugby World Cup in 2003. But, as Australians always say when they lose, cricket was the winner in the Ashes of 2005. So the Poms should stop gloating.
Besides, losing has been good for Australia. After all those years of winning too easily, Australians can now return to the great Aussie tradition of being sore losers.

Princess Mary

Princess Mary made her one useful contribution to her adopted nation of Denmark this year, with the birth of a male heir to the throne. The Danish people initially reacted with enormous excitement but, after the first week had passed, were already putting pressure on the new prince to settle down and begin having children. The news drew a crowd of Australian women in low-cut dresses to the maternity ward in the hope of seducing Europe's newest royal heir.

Final Australia WWI veteran dies

The last Australian veteran to see active service in World War I has died, aged 106.

( pic )
William Evan Allan joined the Royal Australian Navy in 1914, aged only 14.

He served on a cruiser, HMAS Encounter, until 1918, escorting troop convoys and tracking German warships. He remained in the navy for 34 years.

Mr Allan, who also saw active service in World War II and retired with the rank of lieutenant, will be given a state funeral in Melbourne.

Born in the New South Wales town of Bega in 1899, Mr Allan enlisted at the start of World War I and served as an able seaman from 1915.

The HMAS Encounter sailed in the Pacific and Indian oceans.
Mr Allan remained in the navy until 1947, and was the only surviving Australian veteran of both world wars.

He spent much of World War II aboard the cruiser HMAS Australia, but according to friends was reluctant to talk about his experiences.

Australia's Minister for Veterans Affairs, De-Anne Kelly, said his death meant an entire generation who left Australia to defend their nation and the British Empire had been lost.

One Australian WWI veteran is still living, John Campbell Ross, 106, but although he enlisted in 1918 he never saw active service.